Must We Die Quickly?

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Don’t disrupt my nap now.

I’ve been re-reading a book that I haven’t read since it was first published in the early 1990’s. I find the stories by Tom Robbins quite interesting and thought provoking. Skinny Legs and All is just that—an interesting, thought provoking story that will challenge your beliefs, and might even cause your brain to hurt as you think about the ideas he puts forth. The story itself is quite entertaining, however the way he weaves in the challenges to everyday thought, and lifestyles, makes for interesting reading.

I’m going to reproduce a chapter here that I had to go back and read a couple of times. It not only made me stop and think about my life in Western culture, but life around the world. As you read this quote, keep in mind that it comes from a work of fiction which has been interwoven with snippets of fact. So, go ahead and read it, then, ask yourself, “How close to the truth did Mr. Robbins get?”

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Let’s Go To War. Is That It?

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I showed a neighbor of mine the picture you see here and the first words out of her mouth was, “If there’s any spanking to be done, I wanna be first.”

I replied, “Mae, you’re 83 years old. Nobody is going to spank you.”

“No? Then, how about I spank you?” she declared and came at me with the fly swatter.

I ran to protect myself. I didn’t think I’d have any trouble outrunning her, but it was a close call. The walker she uses has wheels. Big, fast wheels. I had a helluva time staying a step ahead of her.

I say all that to say this:

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Huh?

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I need some help in my attempt to understand something I’m not sure is understandable. Hear me out. Earlier today, my neighbor came to me worried about what might happen when he attempts to collect Social Security. He’s only a couple of years away, so he really wants to get this settled before then.

Here’s what has him worried. He thinks he’s his own grandpa. I told him that wouldn’t be of any consideration with the Social Security Administration, and, anyway, there is no way he can be his own grandpa. He explained it to me, and now I’m really confused. Maybe he is, but I’m way too confused to figure it out on my own. Maybe someone can straighten it out for me.

This is what how he described it to me:

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