I Might Be A Nut

“What cable provider do you have?” She was tall, slender, dark, and very beautiful.

“I beg your pardon.” I was too enamored with her beauty to hear her words.

“Your cable provider. Or, don’t you have one?”

I heard her words that time, but I still could not draw myself away from her beauty. “I don’t have a need for one.”

“Oh, you must use an antenna then.”

“Nope. I don’t watch TV.”

“You mean you don’t watch anything on TV?” She had that disbelieving look plastered across her face.

“Haven’t watched TV in eight years. And very little before that.”

“Not even the news, or a sporting event?” She, somehow, determined that I enjoy a few different sports.

“I don’t need some talking head to tell me in 30 second soundbites what I can read for myself in something we old-timers refer to as a newspaper. And, if I really want to watch some overpriced athlete playing a game, there’s always a sports bar somewhere. Anyway, they’re always complaining about not getting paid enough when they’re making more in one year than you or I will make in a lifetime.”

“That’s hard to believe. What do you do with your time?”

“I spend it in nature. Or, listen to music. Or, read. Or, write. I do things that someone on TV is telling others they should be doing to destress and stay healthy. I guess I’m just old fashioned like that. I enjoy myself doing free things others pay to do. How much does your gym membership cost you?”

She blushed and timidly said, “I get your point. You’re probably in better shape than I am and healthier that way.” I rather doubted that. She had a great shape and looked real healthy to me.

I strolled on, and left her staring after me.

Now, you’re probably asking why I didn’t spend more time sharing ideas with such a lovely lady. I don’t care much for crowds, and I was in a store crowded with people. I was there to get my things and get out. Not waste an afternoon making conversation with a young lady about the age that my grand-daughter would be, if I had a grand-daughter. Anyway, she had a living to make, and I wasn’t going to help her get it done. She was selling something I didn’t want, and something I surely don’t need. It was better that she spend her energies on a more worthy candidate.

I recently read an article that said if you spend two hours a week outside with nature that you will be healthier and live longer. It seems to me that too many people are spending their days inside, first at work, and then in a gym. Or, at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. It appears to me that they might be spending that gym time sitting at home watching sitcoms with canned laughter. That way they’re not sweating and know when something is funny and can laugh at the appropriate moments. I don’t need anyone telling me something is worth laughing over. I’ve pretty much got that figured out. I’d rather watch nature at work. Now, that can be some funny stuff.

Let me ask you something. When’s the last time you stood and watched a hummingbird mating ritual? Or one lizard chasing another? He wants it, and she’s not willing to give it up just yet. How about a delicate butterfly searching for the right flower? Squirrels arguing over a nut? These are things you can see in a city park.

With a little more effort you can be watching a mother bear teaching her cubs to fish. Or falcons hunt, snakes slither, or salmon fighting their way upstream. There’s so much to see out there. I suppose watching it on the Discovery channel is just as good, but I wouldn’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Discovery channel.

You know, two hours a week in nature is not that long. It works out to a few seconds over 17 minutes a day. Sitting in traffic doesn’t count. You’d be surprised what you can see in 17 minutes. You get better results doing two hours at a time, just one day a week. Take the kids. They spend too much time staring at a screen (phone, iPad, computer) as it is. Plus a little quality time with Mom or Dad will pay dividends down the road.

Let me jump down off my soapbox. I think I’ve said enough. Anyway there’s a squirrel making eyes at me and I might have to change his mind. I might be a nut, but I’m not going to be his nut.

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