What A Life I Have

Let me tell you, I have a pretty good life. I don’t have to go to the movie theater and pay an outrageous amount of money for a couple of hours of entertainment. Nope. Not me. I don’t have to do that. All I have to do is move to a new spot. I moved today. Yes, what a life I have.

I’m going to share with you something that I might not share with too many people. I’m going to give you a peek into what I have experience from time to time. An experience like today—just a little something you missed out on. Am I rubbing it in? No. You’ll understand in a few moments.

When I arrived at my new home (a spot at a lake just outside of Anywhere, USA) this afternoon I was introduced to a few people I’d like you to meet.

I was first introduced to Don and Fancy (no, I’m not going to use their real names), a very nice couple spending some time in their RV next door, however they had been farther into the bottle than I had this day. It was three in the afternoon. I had been driving for several hours. They had not. I envy them their opportunity to get a very early start on a Saturday afternoon. There was no way I was going to catch up.

Then there was T-Man (nope. not his actual name, either.). I think he got his start on the weekend sometime last month. He’s sleeping in his pickup. Not even a tent. Oh, he has a chair, but, yeah, he’s sleeping in his pickup. That is, providing he made it back from the community toilet. I witnessed his stumble/fall/walk from his abode for the night to the building that was providing a resting spot for a weary soul (not really. he was probably just taking a crap, but I’m not going to walk over there to find out).

Anyway, those folks are not who I want to tell you about. I want to mention my next door neighbor, Frederick (don’t even think I might share his real name). The young man told me he is a veteran. Our conversation has not gotten much farther than that, though. He’s got a haircut that appears to be the product of a number one on any standard hair clipper from WalMart. He’s got painted finger nails (white) and his upper body (he wanders around shirtless, for Pete’s sake. Get your mind out of the gutter) appears to have been shaved (yes, his arms, too) quite recently.

Shortly after my introduction to Frederick he told me that he loves to play old rock tunes quite loud when he smokes weed. I do fear for poor Frederick’s well-being. The music takes me back to a much younger time in my life, but I do think Frederick may have overdosed (is that possible with the ingestion of marijuana).

I consulted my lovable lushes parked on the other side of me. Don assured me that Frederick’s behavior was not out of the ordinary. I thought Fancy and Don had arrived earlier today. I was wrong. They have been here for three days. Frederick was here when they got here. Well, anyway Don assured me that Frederick is harmless and he’ll soon pass out. That’s good.

You see, it’s not the music I dislike. It’s his damned singing. Frederick carries a tune like a drunk man carries his passed out wife into the house. He doesn’t. That drunk guy won’t make it three steps up the sidewalk. Frederick can’t get passed, “Okay, here we go.” If there were dogs in the area they’d be a howling competition for sure.

Damn. He even howls at the moon and the moon hasn’t risen, yet.

Here is where this all leading. I am currently reading The Fool’s Progress: An Honest Novel by Edward Abbey. I like to read to relax. Early this evening (after meeting the residents of my new neighborhood) I picked up this entertaining piece of literature and read, “Once again I ask myself the simple obvious question: Why not? Why suffer anymore? You’ve lived over a half a century, now, you’ve had your share—the love of a number of beautiful women, the friendship of enough good men, the test of blood, muscle, nerve and skill in some lovely, dangerous and very strange places. What do you want? Why not go for one last walk in the woods, in the spirit of undying adventure, never to return.”

So, here’s my dilemma. Should I just go for a nice long walk, and let the calmness of the nature that surrounds me ease the tension within my soul, or should I just kill him now before the sun rises on a new, peaceful day?

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